Kshama Bindu is not like other brides, even though she is dressed appropriately for a newlywed. Because she has married herself rather than a man or a woman. Bindu’s “sologamy” – a marriage with oneself – took place last June 8 in an elaborate Indian wedding setup, making her an overnight internet sensation and the first Indian to do so.
Bindu says she got the idea for sologamy three months before her wedding after watching the Netflix show Anne with An E, which is about a young orphaned girl who was abused as a child. Strangers have been giving the 24-year-old disapproving looks since then. She, on the other hand, is overjoyed. Her wedding day was the best day of her life, she said. She claims that the best part of her marriage to herself is that not much has changed since the wedding.
“I don’t need anyone else’s approval. I don’t have to consider moving to a different city because my partner must. “I can only think about myself,” she says, adding that no one can love her more than herself. “Women account for the vast majority of cases of sologamy worldwide.” Girls are groomed for marriage from a young age, which can feel like a lot of pressure. “I shut people up by marrying myself,” she adds. Sologamy, she claims, is a radical act against patriarchy, a social justice statement, and a declaration of breaking free from the stereotypical expectations placed on women.
“Rest in Peace, patriarchy and gender rules,” reads the graveyard tattoo on Bindu’s left wrist. “Patriarchy has hit me many times and in different stages of my life.”
Is this radical self-love, a quest for celebrity, a deliberate glorification of loneliness, or a rejection of patriarchy and societal expectations of women?
Bindu claims she had a difficult childhood and was sexually abused when she was eight years old. “Every time it happened, I’d cry in front of the mirror and try to motivate and inspire myself.” I’d have to remind myself that I’m tough. “As a result, I grew up much too quickly,” she explained. According to National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data from 2020, sex crimes against children increased in India, accounting for at least 40% of total crimes against children.
But it came as a surprise to her friends, family, and Indian society. Friends and family eventually joined in, but the media and politics got involved, and Sunita Shukla, a politician from the ruling Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), declared that such a marriage would be against Hinduism and that the wedding would not be held in a Hindu temple. Bindu was under pressure to keep the marriage private due to threats. She held the ceremony in her home ahead of schedule. Bindu claimed she summoned at least 25 Hindu priests to perform the wedding rituals but was unsuccessful. Finally, technology saved the day. When the wedding finally happened, the hymns and wedding chants were played on a Bluetooth speaker in Bindu’s house.
Today, the media attention has finally subsided, and the monsoon rains have begun. Bindu stated then that it was the best time for her honeymoon – a vacation with herself to celebrate her marriage as it should be.
What exactly is sologamy?
In Western popular culture, there are numerous references to sologamy. The concept has appeared in several well-known Hollywood films and television shows, including Sex and The City, Glee, and Doctor Who.
Sologamy packages and assistance are available from organizations such as Marry Yourself Vancouver in Canada and IMarriedMe.com in the United States.